Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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