Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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