He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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