More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
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After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
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She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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