I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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