she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
