dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
