If that was your dad, he is hot
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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