I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
