he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
