I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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