this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
