I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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