you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
