Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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