His pubic hair was longer than his dick
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
