I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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