Dual....:-)
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
