I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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