I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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