loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
