what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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