dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
