I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
