similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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