My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm fucking your sister right now.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat