The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is