Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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