i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
