I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
