where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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