i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
