The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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