Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wish I only lived at night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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