I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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