Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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