A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
