I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
