i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
