Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
