Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
