At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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