she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
