Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
