I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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