new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize