Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
