Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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