Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
