That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
