Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
