for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
