Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
