If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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