u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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