So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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