i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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