...so i touched it.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
