i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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