I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
