i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
