Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
