I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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