I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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