HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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