Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
