I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
