they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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