That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
