I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
