When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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