They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
