Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?

Fav 23 3694 1123
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(410): View more from Maryland

she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur

Fav 36 12331 1058
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(845): View more from New York

mondays should just be called national damage control day

Fav 15 5017 985
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(785): View more from Kansas

Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?

Fav 2 2886 952
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie

Fav 4 2812 1088
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(503): View more from Oregon

You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.

Fav 10 2215 830
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(818): View more from California

Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.

Fav 1 978 547
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(630): View more from Illinois

I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.

Fav 3 483 421
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(647): View more from Ontario

Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays

Fav 0 47 28
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