Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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