How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
