Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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