I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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