just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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