the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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